top of page

Best Butts in Baseball: American League Edition

Updated: May 29, 2020

At times baseball can be boring, but you know what is not boring (to look at)...butts in baseball

pants. Some of these dudes damn sure got cakes thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. Wagons that would put the Kardashians to shame. So let's get to it!


Baltimore Orioles - Chris Davis

Looking like two crab cakes with extra old bay.


booty rating: 5/5

Boston Red Sox - Jackie Bradley Jr.

The green monster got nothing on this monster booty.

booty rating: 5/5

New York Yankees - Giancarlo Stanton

I don't even think cake boss man Buddy could bake cakes this nice.

booty rating: 500/5

Tampa Bay Rays - Blake Snell

A man of many talents: pitcher by day, twitch boy by night, & kardashian look-a-like by life.

booty rating: 55555/5

Toronto Blue Jays - Vladimir Guerrero Jr.

Ass's thicker than molasses

booty rating: 500/5


Chicago White Sox - Tim Anderson

Cake booty baby, won't you meet me by The Bean?

booty rating: 5/5

Cleveland Indians - Tyler Naquin

Beauty Grace Booty & Face

* plays hannah montana best of both worlds*

booty rating: 5mill/5

Detroit Tigers - Daniel Norris

Though you may not win on the field, you definitely win in our eyes!

booty rating: 5/5

Kansas City Royals - Whit Merrifield

Watch out Jackson Mahomes, one time throwing it back on TikTok and he'll take over KC!

booty rating: 5/5

Minnesota Twins - Max Kepler

Double caked up, twin cities!

booty rating: 5/5


Houston Astros - None

No ratings applipcable, sorry!

Los Angeles Angels - Mike Trout

This butt is what the people want. This is THE baseball butt!

booty rating: 500000/5

Oakland Athletics - Mike Fiers

Jessica Mendoza if you happen to be reading this...

even snakes have butts, I guess.

booty rating: 5/5

Seattle Mariners - Daniel Vogelbach

This butt will bring ya sunshine on a cloudy Seattle day

booty rating: 500/5

Texas Rangers - Joey Gallo

Saved the best for last. dump truck. brb booking a one way to TX, god bless.

booty rating: 500trillion/5

bottom of page