For Every New JIZ Subscriber From This Blog, I'll Take a Shot of Hot Sauce

That's right, folks! By signing up for the weekly Jagoff Insider Zine (JIZ), you can make my life a literal Hell!

I know this doesn't seem like much, but let me tell you–and I cannot emphasize this enough–I am NOT a fan of hot shit.

I never even thought to touch one of those damn Popeye's Spicy Chicken sandwiches when people were murdering each other for them on the streets. I'll eat the occasional jalapeño popper at a tailgate or Super Bowl watch party, but I immediately regret it in the morning.

So, once this blog is posted, I will be counting every individual subscriber it gets. After 24 hours, I'll commence the shooting of hot sauce down my gullet, and post the video evidence of it as soon as I can after the fact.

Happy subbing!