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Is There a Legitimate Case to Put Bill Belichick Behind Bars?

Updated: May 29, 2020

If you’re thinking to yourself “What a sensationalist headline”, bear with me because we’ve got compelling evidence beyond your wildest dreams. Bill Belichick and the Patriots are in the midst of another cheating scandal after someone within the organization (who they claim isn’t part of the “football staff”) was caught filming the Cincinnati Bengal sidelines during their game against the Cleveland Browns this past Sunday.

According to CBS Boston “someone was tasked with breaking the news to head coach Bill Belichick. One can only imagine the wrath that poor messenger suffered upon relaying the message.”

I’m sorry… what did they mean by “wrath”? Are there possible assault implications at play?

Somehow Bill Belichick being a miserable asshole is some kind of super meme in Boston, and the local media can’t wait to write about everyone’s fear when interacting with the man. In reality, I can think of at least 4 or 5 Pittsburgh guys his age who would kick his ass, and not think twice about deflating balls or filming signals before the fight.

Yet somehow, the entire city of Boston is worked into a state of frenzy whenever Belichick seems pissed in a press conference. Could there be deeper ties to organized crime at play? Why would the media of an entire city, one which is arguably the birthplace of free speech, be so afraid of questioning an old guy with a comb over wearing a dirty hoodie?

This is now the third (3) incident in which these sickos were caught red-handed cheating via methods of either illegal filming or balls. I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure if you commit murder three times then you’re heading to jail for a long time.


And what are laws if not just a tool for us as a cohesive people to hold ourselves to the same standards we expect from our peers? And if laws are a social contract, is the game of football (which is our national sport of choice) not the pinnacle in which that social contract should be held to the most scrupulous standards? I argue yes.

If not then we might as well let this great American sport devolve into the barbarism seen from the likes of Myles Garret when he smashed Mason Rudolph in the head with his own helmet. Is that where we want this sport to go America?

Obviously not. So I argue that it’s time we stop letting some old man bully everyone, threaten free speech, disregard the social fabric and break the rules at every turn. There’s something deeper going on in Boston, and if the people of that particular city want to turn a blind eye then so be it. But they filmed Dark Knight Rises in Pittsburgh, and as Batman said in that movie “Justice will prevail whether retards in Boston want to realize it or not”.

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